Most fourth graders just complain about horrible cafeteria food. This one decided to do something about it.

Two weeks ago, there were a couple of inches of snow on the ground in Omaha. Today, it hit 100º. THANKS, OBAMA.

The NTSB issues a 'shelter in place' order.

Problem: all the lines at Disney for the rides are two hours long. Solution: hire a handicapped "tour guide" and get escorted straight up to the front each time.

Woman drops purse in Starbucks; gun in purse goes off and shoots woman's friend. If only the friend's purse had had a gun to shoot back with.

Headline: "Pediatricians go to battle against gun lobby." Subby hopes they don't bring knives.

Nine people who were banned from "Saturday Night Live". Writers from 1980 season surprisingly absent.

LinkedIn to prostitutes: Please stop using our site.